


Fantasies come true

by Ghoulboyboos



Series: The Avenue Q OST makes good titles [2]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, more Avenue Q references, trying really hard for a theme here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-09 02:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15257079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghoulboyboos/pseuds/Ghoulboyboos
Summary: Shane and Ryan have to talk about the whole "cuddling your best friend who you secretly have feelings for" thing that happened last night. They take their time.





	Fantasies come true

**Author's Note:**

> Another part?! It wasn't planned but then again, the first one felt a little unfinished. Maybe there will be more, I don't know yet.

They don’t talk about it. They have waffles for breakfast.

 

Ryan gives Shane an exact recollection of all the random things that went wrong on the day before, making him want to retire early just when Shane’s message arrived. He admitted that he had planned on ducking out, but when everyone agreed so eagerly, he felt bad about saying no. Shane bites his tongue and doesn’t admit the other “Testies” knew the plan beforehand and were ready to drag Ryan along, much like the group does in the song Jen was singing in front of Ryan’s door.

They walk around L.A. and talk about locations they would like to visit for Unsolved and they don’t speak about how they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Ryan makes good on his promise and invites Shane to dinner. It’s at Chipotle and once Shane finishes ribbing him for it, they have some excellent burritos and enjoy the air cooling while the sun is setting.

 

Finally, they have walked enough and eaten enough and they are too tired to find any more distractions.

 

“I can give you a lift home”, Shane says, trying not to feel too bad about having to end their time together.

Ryan stares ahead thoughtfully. He is worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and Shane stares at it and then decides it will probably only help him make bad decisions, so he rather looks at his feet.

Finally, Ryan speaks.

“We still haven’t talked. About… the thing.”

Shane hums, it might be in agreement. Ryan needs a moment before he continues:

“I mean, I guess we don’t have to talk about it. But … I think if we don’t, it might make things awkward.”

Shane stops. He breathes in and then heaves a deep deep sigh.

“Ryan...”, his voice wavers a little bit and he glances over so Ryan is just at the corner of his vision. “If we talk about it… it might… actually, _I_ might make things awkward.”

He finally looks at his friend. Ryan seems to be mulling it over, lips pursed and jaw working.

“Well”, he finally says. “It already is a bit awkward. But… Shane. You’re my best friend. I think we’re grown-ups. Mostly.” He allows himself a little giggle. “And I think we should be able to talk about shit like this.”

Shane nods. He knows Ryan’s right. He doesn’t really want to talk about it, because he knows he will want to be as honest as possible and that will overcomplicate shit. But he also knows he has to talk about it at some point.

“You’ll crack.” Jen warns in the back of his head and Shane gives in.

“Okay. You’re right. Do you… want to talk back at my place? Or… wherever you wanna go.”

Ryan smiles.

“Your place is fine.”

 

They return to Shane’s apartment. When they toe off their shoes and hang up their jackets Shane feels reminded of last night. It feels comfortable coming home with Ryan. It feels domestic. He wouldn’t mind doing this for the rest of his life.

The thought scares the shit out of him, so he goes to the kitchen to busy himself with something. He settles on making coffee, because this is going to be the night of clear minds and serious talks and he doesn’t need the buzz of alcohol interfering with his words. Ryan is sitting on the living room couch, staring at the dark TV as if something particularly riveting was on. He looks up when Shane sits down next to him and hands him one of the mugs.

“Thank you.”

“I figured, we could use some caffeine.”

Ryan smiles into his coffee. “Yeah”, he breathes. “Maybe.”

They sit in silence for a moment and if the big scary thing of “talking about your feelings” wasn’t on the horizon, Shane would have relaxed and welcomed this moment.

But they have to be grown-ups now and Shane is sick of keeping things to himself, of effectively _lying_ to Ryan, who is still his best friend no matter what. 

 

He has just wrestled himself into starting when Ryan opens his mouth.

“I… wanted to apologize. I know you; I know you don’t want to hear it, but I want to apologize for yesterday night. I was confused, I was lonely and I abused your trust and your friendship to make myself feel better. And that’s… not cool.”

Shane’s tongue feels to heavy for his mouth so he takes a sip of coffee to bring feeling back into it.

“You didn’t abuse my trust. I agreed, didn’t I? I invited you...” He wants to say “into my bed” but it sounds wrong and it makes his chest constrict.

“I still feel like I manipulated you, Shane. That’s why I wanted to apologize.”

“Okay.” Shane takes a deep breath. “I still think you don’t have to but if it really means that much to you, apology accepted. No hard feelings.”

He looks at Ryan and sees him visibly relaxing. Not completely, but at least a little bit.

 

They sit in silence for a moment. Shane sips his coffee, enjoys the warmth and the presence of Ryan. Usually when they hang out at one of their places, they watch movies or series, share popcorn or talk about anything. They rarely just sit with nothing but their thoughts and the other’s presence. It feels so good that Shane almost suffocates in it. He wants to bring an arm around Ryan’s shoulders and cuddle on the couch like they are fucking _married_ and it makes him so sad he feels a lump settle in his throat.

He can’t help it, he looks over. The sight of Ryan freezes him in the spot and cold dread settles in his stomach. Ryan’s eyes are wide and reddened, his lips are pressed together so tightly they look white and tears are streaming down his face. He is crying silently, no sniffles or sobs and Shane is so distraught, he slams his mug on the couch table hard enough for the rest of the coffee to slosh up and over his hand. It’s cool, thankfully and Shane doesn’t even pause to wipe his hand before he grasps Ryan’s arm. Ryan, who has flinched when the mug hit the table tries to hide his face behind his hands but Shane pulls them aside. He doesn’t really hear himself speak, it’s like he’s under water, but he feels like he is shushing Ryan, telling him as soothingly as he can that everything is alright, that he meant it when he said no hard feelings, that there is nothing in the world worth crying over that they can’t talk about-

 

And Ryan puts his mug away and wraps his arms around Shane’s middle. He buries his face in Shane’s shirt and sobs very quietly. Shane doesn’t even hesitate to wrap him in a hug and he listens to Ryan sniffle and hiccup while his shirt grows damp and his heart breaks. After a while, he can understand again what he is babbling about.

 

“It’s okay, Ryan. Break-ups suck and are fucking tough. It’ll pass, trust me, okay? In a couple weeks, you’ll be surprised how nice everything is actually. You’re gonna meet a wonderful woman one day and before you know it, you are asking me to be your best man, because if you ask Jake, I will personally find the most haunted doll in the universe and give it to you as a gift."

Ryan is laughing, then he his wheezing. Finally, he pulls back, sniffling and rubbing his face with his sleeve. When Shane doesn’t stop rambling, Ryan laughs even more and slaps his arm till he interrupts himself to complain. Shane breathes in to start another set of weird and ridiculous sentences, determined to stop Ryan crying for good, but Ryan puts his entire hand on Shane’s mouth and Shane stops.

 

“For fuck’s sake, Shane.” Ryan takes in a shuddering breath and lets it out as another laugh.

Shane shrugs with his mouth still covered but he is sure Ryan can feel him smiling against his palm. A childish desire of licking Ryan’s hand bubbles up, but before he can contemplate it, Ryan lets him go.

 

“Shane...” he says and Shane grows concerned with how serious he sounds.

“The last few weeks, I wasn’t upset about the break-up. It sucked, yeah, but it was mutual. I was prepared, there was no bad blood and it was the right decision.”

“Then why…”

“I told you, it felt manipulative to… well.” He flushes. “To try to get into your bed. To have you… comfort me.”

Shane swallows.

“We’re friends, Shane. Nothing else. But I treated you differently last night. I used the fact that we’re friends to get closer to you. That’s why I felt bad. But this morning, when you didn’t kick me out, I kind of hoped...” Ryan breaks off. He stares at a point on Shane’s chest and Shane wonders if the wet spots where Ryan cried are visible. Ryan doesn’t move, so finally, Shane clears his throat and leans in enough to get Ryan to look at him.

“I don’t think I fully understand. I thought you were broken up about… you know. It’s why I got everyone together and take you out last night. Thought you needed the distraction.”

Ryan looks at him.

“Jen told me.”

“I know.”

“Why?”

“Why she told you? Probably to see me squirm? I don’t know?”

Ryan wheezes.

“No… why did you organize all that? For me.”

Shane shrugs.

“Because you needed it. It was pretty obvious. Can’t have you sit around and be mopey all time, right?”

Ryan stares at his face and Shane suddenly feels extremely exposed.

“Is that all?”

Shane holds his breath for a few seconds. Easy now.

“What else could there be to it?”

Ryan seems frozen for a moment, before he closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath. Breathes out. He looks at Shane again, face soft and open and so sweet Shane wants to just lean in-

“If I tell you something private and probably pretty inappropriate, do you promise not to use it against me? Promise me you won’t mock me for it?”

Shane shuffles in his seat.

“Ryan. I love to tease you for shit that isn’t real. But… like real problems? You know I wouldn’t do that to you, right?”

Ryan nods without breaking eye contact. Finally, he pulls one leg on the couch, shuffles closer till their knees are touching and whispers almost too quiet to hear:

 

“I have feelings for you.”

“Oh SHIT!”

Ryan winces. Shane’s exclamation was loud enough to ring and echo in the quiet walls of his apartment. Even though Ryan looks hurt, there is a hint of a smile on his face, a grim expression of satisfaction over a fear coming true. Shane instantly feels like the biggest asshole in the universe.

 

“Wait, that came out wrong. Hang on. Let’s rewind that.”

Ryan frowns, stares at him in confusion but nods slowly. “Okay?”

Shane takes a deep breath.

“You have feelings for me?”

Ryan closes his eyes. He looks pained.

“Yes.”

Shane breathes out and he can’t help it, it becomes a slight wheeze. He has to hurry up before Ryan thinks he is making fun of him.

“Because… I have feelings for you. You see… it’s been… weeks? Probably months. But you were in a relationship and then you were _out_ of a relationship and  I thought you were straight. And even if not, I didn’t want to end up a rebound or like… “pounce” when you were vulnerable. I don’t want to be a one-night-stand or a friend with benefits. I want _you_. I want to be your boyfriend. With all the sappy shit that comes with it like dates and movie nights and kissing and hand holding and...”

He flushes a little and stares at the couch cushions, picking at a loose strand under his knee until he finally mutters:

“...and everything else.”

 

He hears Ryan’s breath hitch but doesn’t look up until Ryan ducks his head into his line of view. They sit up a little, staring at each other and Ryan’s eyes are wide as he captures Shane’s gaze. He seems to be searching for something in Shane’s face, as if Shane is about to laugh at him and yell “sike, I don’t love you!” and Shane can’t even really be offended because they exchanged a lot of tasteless jokes in the course of their relationship. He tries to will his expression to be as open and vulnerable as he can, letting his feelings that he buried so deep come forward and he knows he is red in the face. He knows why his eyes are stinging and his nose is tingling and he wants to cry and laugh at the same time, but both could scare Ryan off. For a moment, neither of them does anything but breathing. Finally, Shane decides it's enough. After all the stress, they deserve a nice moment. He wasn’t getting younger and he was sick of missing opportunities.

 

“Can I kiss you? Would that… be okay?”

“Yeah.” Ryan sounds breathless and he’s glancing at Shane’s eyes, his lips, his eyes again. “Okay.”

Shane lifts his hands to cup Ryan’s face and searches his eyes for regret or hesitation. But Ryan simply looks amazed and maybe a tiny bit giddy and Shane huffs out a soft laugh.

“I think the others know what I feel… wouldn’t surprise me if they have a betting pool about when we’ll catch on.”

Ryan puts his hands over Shane’s.

“Are you going to wonder or are you going to do what you asked for?”

Shane leans in almost a little too quickly, because Ryan meets him halfway and their first kiss is a messy squish of lips, making both of them giggle. The second is much better, he moves slowly, peeking just a little bit through his lashes to see Ryan tilt his head and their lips slot together perfectly. It only takes a couple heartbeats before Ryan pulls back and moves in for a third kiss. Three turn into four turn into eight turn into many. Ryan’s hands move to Shane’s hips and they shuffle closer together. Ryan’s leg is thrown over Shane’s thigh and even though he doesn’t quite climb on his lap, they are so close now Shane swears he can feel Ryan’s heartbeat against his chest. His arms are wrapped around the back of Ryan’s neck and Ryan’s fingers are fisted in the sides of Shane’s shirt. They hum and huff between kisses and if one of them moans or whimpers, the other doesn’t interrupt their make-out session to make fun of it.

 

Finally, they pull away. Shane feels light headed and maybe that’s why there is a glow to Ryan’s face. He licks his lips and watches Ryan mirror him. They stare at each other for a moment and then Ryan buries his head in Shane’s chest again. Shane hugs him close and shuts his eyes. Silence falls over them and Shane realizes that if he could bottle any moment of his life, this would be it. Ryan in his arms after they confessed and had a thoroughly wonderful mass of kisses. Perfect.

He doesn’t miss that Ryan starts shaking in his arms though, so he pulls back a little and looks at him. When he tilts his head down Ryan looks up and grabs his lapels, pulling him into a new kiss. Shane groans as Ryan bites at his bottom lip and his hands roam over Ryan’s back, enjoying how muscular he feels under his fingers. Ryan grabs a handful of Shane’s shirt and pushes himself up on his knees to gain a couple inches of height on Shane and Shane decides it’s not bad tilting your head up to kiss Ryan Bergara if it makes him happy. They get more noisy as their movements get more desperate, trying to pull the other closer and closer, teeth and tongues messing with lips and finally, Shane pushes hard enough for Ryan to drop backwards on the couch. They don’t let that interrupt them and Shane’s hands find their way under Ryan’s shirt, touching warm skin and he feels heat pool in his stomach.

 

Finally, with a gasp, Ryan pulls back.

“Wait!”

Shane stops instantly. His hands freeze over Ryan’s stomach where his fingers had been trailing the line of hair under his bellybutton and he looks at Ryan, wide eyed.

Ryan is lying under him, hair a mess, lips reddened and swollen. His pupils are blown wide and his eyes seem to gleam in the low light of Shane’s living room. He is breathing heavy, maybe a little too heavy for just dealing with arousal. Shane looks at Ryan’s hands where they have grasped his bicep, more pushing away than pulling closer now. Ryan’s fingers are shaking.

Shane would have admitted without much shame that he had been half-hard by then but the sight of Ryan slowly going insane under him was a bit of a boner-killer. He relaxes his shoulders and pulls back a little, so he’s not towering over him anymore.

He is extremely proud when his voice doesn’t sound rough and heavy when he asks:

 

“Are you freaking out?”

Ryan squeezes his eyes shut.

“No. It’s just-. Shit, Shane, I’m still getting to terms with being _into_ a guy – nothing wrong with that but you know, I never – I mean... I don’t think I can-”

“Ryan...”

“I mean not _now...”_

“ _Ryan”_ Shane sits up, clasps Ryan’s hand in both of his and leans a little closer.

“It’s _fine_. I would never want to do something that makes you uncomfortable, alright?”

Ryan frowns, then lifts an eyebrow and opens his mouth with just the tiniest hint of a smile.

“Outside of Unsolved, of course”, Shane adds quickly and they both dissolve into giggles.

“Seriously, though”, he says after he gets his wheeze in check. “If you never want to do something other than… holding hands. Making out. Going out together. Or whatever. That’s fine. I want you to be happy. And I want you to be comfortable.”

Ryan looks at him and his eyes are so full of adoration and he blinks a couple of times and finally has to free one of his hands from Shane’s grasp to press the heel of his hand to the corner of his eye.

“Okay. That’s… okay. Thank you, Shane.”

“There is literally nothing to thank me for about this.”

Ryan laughs, voice thick.

“I would like to thank you very much for kissing me so much. Because that was nice.”

Shane smiles. His heart is fluttering.

“Back atcha with that...”

They stare at each other for a couple of long moments. Shane doesn’t think he ever looked this much at Ryan before. He definitely hasn’t looked into his eyes that much. It’s very nice.

Slowly, Ryan sits up and kisses Shane once more. Softly, without urgency or heat.

Shane smiles into the kiss and softly places a hand against Ryan’s jaw.

“If you want,” he says as they pull back, “you can sleep here again. Like yesterday, I mean. If not, that’s fine, but I would like you to stay.”

Ryan grins widely.

“Sounds good, big guy.”

Shane breathes out another laugh.

“Life is fucking strange, do you realize that?”

“I think I do, yeah.”

They smile at each other and Shane realizes that this is where things change, maybe for the rest of his life. And he couldn’t be happier.

 

Later, when they are lying in bed, Ryan in his arms with his eyes closed and a bright smile on his face, Shane realizes that one of the damn songs Jen was singing last night is stuck in his head.

He buries his head in his pillow as close to Ryan as possible and concentrates on the breathing of his new _boyfriend_ while the words loop in his head.

 

‘ _cause now, my love_

_I’m getting what I’ve always been dreaming of_

_So are you, (oh baby)_

_Fantasies come true..._


End file.
